Question: I'm worried that my friend has an eating disorder. How can I help her? Nisha's Answer: It sounds like you are a very understanding friend. Listen to her reasons, but urge her to seek professional help. She's likely to be low on self-esteem, so remind her why she's a special friend. Encourage her to confide in her parents or a sympathetic adult. Question: How can I make myself stick to diet and exercise? Nisha’s Answer: Write down your weekly goals, and make them realistic. Plan to exercise 3 times a week as your goal. If you do it 4 times, then you've really made extra progress. Reward yourself for the achievements. (It can be as little as a chart with gold stars, or as great as a new piece of clothing.) Think of this as positive moves to your goal! You'll feel better physically and mentally! All the Best! Question: I have the problem of being shy. I never know how to talk to people. I'm not shy around my best friend but with other people I am. What should I do??? Nisha’s Answer: Actually, being shy can be a trait that some people like...it can make you a good listener! If you want to participate more in the conversations around you, then learn about the things that people are interested in and practice at home what you are ready to say and what question you want to ask. It is also easier to learn to talk with people if you get involved in an activity that interests you so that you work together on common goals and interests, and you'll have real things to talk about. You can do it...good luck. Question: I have been seeing my boyfriend for a while, but sometimes he ignores me and doesn't phone or he tells me he's not going to a party and then I find out he's has gone and not invited me to go with him. Does he really like me? Nisha’s Answer: A relationship is a two way street and there has to be equal input from both sides. However, everybody is different and no two relationships are the same. As a general rule it is the respect he shows for you and the way he treats you as well as the affection he shows you that counts and tells you his true feelings. If this is missing you may want to think seriously whether he really deserves you or not! Question: I always feel like I'm being compared to my older sister. She was really successful at school and I feel under pressure to live up to her achievements. How do I deal with it? Nisha’s Answer: It's unfair of people to compare you to your sibling. Have you tried talking to them about how much they are hurting you? They probably have no idea they're upsetting you. It is important not to let this affect your self-confidence. Remember, you're you! Focus on your own strengths and the things you can do really well. Good luck! Question: How do I know if I am in love? Nisha’s Answer: This is the million dollar question! Love is different things to different people so there is no easy definition that I can give and there is no test you can take. In addition there are different types of love. The love you feel towards a parent or child is likely to be different to that you feel for a boyfriend or partner. It is something only you can decide. Question: Why do I sometimes get upset and angry very easily? Nisha’s Answer: It is perfectly normal to feel like this at times during puberty. You may have some worries about the way your body is changing. Also the hormones, which cause the physical changes in your body, also affect your moods. This is partly why you can sometimes get really upset about something that would not usually worry you. Feeling angry is normal during puberty because of the hormonal changes. In fact, for the same reason, many women get edgy right before their periods. 'Mood swings' are also common throughout puberty. This is when you feel really happy one minute and then really angry or even sad the next minute. So if you're feeling angry you may want to count to 10 (it works!) and think about it before you shout at your family or friends. Question: Do you have any tips for me to stop me from getting such greasy hair? Nisha’s Answer: Everybody has different hair types and you need to choose the right product for your hair. Greasy hair happens when too much oil is produced. This often happens during puberty. Hair begins to look dull and limp and gets difficult to style because the oil makes it heavier. It also gets dirtier more quickly than normal hair because it attracts the dirt. Beautiful and healthy hair is about choosing the right hair care products. All you need to make sure is that they are adapted to your hair type and nourish and protect your hair. I suggest you try shampoos/conditioners designed for 'Greasy Hair'. Check out Pantene and HerbalEssences. Question: I really like my boyfriend but he is too pushy - what should I do? Nisha’s Answer: You were probably taught as a child to never go along with any kind of pressure. That you should say, "No" or walk away from situations that don't feel right to you - no matter how reassuring or pushy another person is. Well guess what? This is the golden rule in sex and relationships for the rest of your life. If you don't want to do something, if you feel pressured, if there's a strong voice inside you thinking "this doesn't feel right" or "No", then you should say "No" - loudly and clearly. That includes everything from not kissing a guy just because he wants to kiss you, to not giving in to sex just because you feel pressured. Be true to who you are, make decisions that feel right for you, and act out of your own needs - not someone else's. Question: Around the time of my period I get really bloated what should I do to stop this? Nisha’s Answer: Many women find themselves feeling a little bloated around the time of their periods and unfortunately there is not too much you can do about it. My advice would be a little gentle exercise; this will help you feel better! Question: My aunty has been diagnosed with Breast Cancer. I am worried I might get it too! Nisha’s Answer: Breast cancer is extremely rare in teens and lumps are often harmless. There's a great article in my archives called "Why do I need to be breast aware", which will help you understand what's normal for you and explain the importance of checking your breasts regularly. (NISHA'S archives). LOOKING FOR ADVICE Click here to ask me a question in the strictest of confidence.   OR Click here to check out my archived answers - you might just find the answer you're looking for. Nisha