Friendship

How do I make friends? When meeting new people, it is important to be yourself and not give them a false impression of who you really are. Get to know people by asking about their lifestyles and hobbies etc. If they are interested in the same hobbies as you, say swimming, you could suggest that you meet up at your local club and go swimming together. There are many ways to meet new friends. You could join a local youth club or after school teams, such as drama or sports. Many people make good friends through the Internet whilst in chat rooms etc. Before joining chat rooms and exposing yourself, I advise that you check out www.thinkuknow.co.uk, a website that advises on Internet safety. My friends are being nasty to me, what should I do? When you feel down, left out or upset with your friends it's important to speak up. Let them know that the way they are behaving is out of order. They need to know how their behaviour is making you feel. Be honest and up-front with them. If they are good friends, they'll realise what they've done and make an effort to include you more. If things don't change, you might want to consider making a few new friends because it sounds like these friends don't deserve you. I am being verbally bullied, what should I do? It is very unpleasant that you are receiving this kind of verbal abuse. Contrary to what people may think, bullying doesn't have to be of a physical nature. While it may sound very difficult, my advice is to completely ignore what these bullies are saying. The reason for suggesting this is that most bullies are only after the attention and reaction that they receive from their victims. If you don't respond, their behaviour loses its point. Another alternative is to talk to your bully when they are alone and make it very clear that if this behaviour continues you will speak to your parents and teachers. Remember it is not you who is the problem: it is the bully. I am being physically bullied, what should I do? Physical abuse is not to be tolerated. You may end up in serious harm. It is important that you speak with your parents and teachers or someone that you trust and know will be able to help you to make sure that this stops immediately. Please don't worry about talking to your teachers. Schools and colleges take bullying very seriously and will be more than happy to help stop this problem. Remember it is not you who is the problem: it is the bully How can I stop being so jealous of my friend? Jealousy involves resentment and bitterness towards someone because of what they have or who they are. If you find yourself feeling jealous, ask yourself, “Why should a friend's success make me feel bitter? Why am I so angry?” If you feel jealous/envious of a friend consider this: Ask yourself, “Do I want to be her?” Sure it would be great to pick and choose bits and pieces of people's lives that we want. But everyone gets a mixed bag. If you look inside yours, you’ll see you have a lot of good stuff going on, too. Focus on it, build on it, and be happy about it. Changes in hormone levels affect what is happening to your body on the outside and on the inside - the way you look, and the way you feel too. Remember that everyone else is experiencing a lot of changes and feeling unsure of themselves too. My advice to you is to stop comparing yourself with others and don't worry if some things don't quite work out as you wanted - it happens to everyone. Learn something from it and move on! Remember, you are who you are and are special and unique for being you. I’ve lied to a friend, what should I do? You now have two options: you could do the right thing and come clean, which risks your friends being angry and hurt and people losing trust in you. Or you could keep your secret to yourself and never mention it again. If you’re lucky, nobody else will bring it up. And if they do, you could just say you don't want to talk about it. How do I stop my friend always copying me? You should see it as a compliment! You're a leader, she's a follower. People generally only copy what they like, so a certain amount of copying can be flattering, it shows people admire your taste and style! She probably knows she's a copycat but may not realise you find it so irritating. Let her know how you feel, but go easy. It sounds like she is already lacking confidence and you don't want to make it worse. You need to be very subtle and advise her on what you think will suit her; you could even go shopping together. Check out the Advice for Life articles to find more information on friendships