Aching heart? Tools for surviving a break-up Whether it’s a five-year old relationship or if you have been going around for five days, whether it was his, yours or a mutual decision, let’s face it — breaking up is NEVER easy. Dealing with the aftermath, for both him and you, is even more difficult. Our break-up tool kit will help make calling it quits a little easier, a little less tearful, and--dare we say it? --a more positive experience. Friends When you are going through a break-up, you need your friends more than ever. If you are having a really rough time, tell them so that they can be supportive. Putting on a good face and not telling them how much you are hurting will not let them know how much you need their friendship and support right now. Patience Rome wasn't built in a day, and a relationship can't go from break-up to best friends overnight either. It might take some time before you can be friends with your ex (if you want to be friends with him) or even be civil to him; so have patience and know that you might be friends--even good friends again, but just not for awhile. Chances are, you both have a lot of feelings and emotions you have to deal with on your own first. A chance to reflect Spend some time writing in your diary or thinking about what you want to take away from the relationship. Have you developed any new interests with him that you can now pursue on your own? Do you want to pursue them or do they remind you too much of the times you’ve had together? Are you sticking to the familiar out of habit? Have you learnt anything about the way you are in relationships? For example: Can you be too selfish? Too giving? Too dependent? Do some soul searching and find answers to these and other questions that will help you learn more about yourself and the way you interact in romantic situations. Store this valuable information away and retrieve it to better your next relationship, and believe us, there WILL be another one! Confidence It is important to remember that if a relationship fails, it doesn't mean you've failed. Also, a failed relationship does not mean that there's anything wrong with you. A relationship is between two people and just because it doesn't work out with a particular person, doesn't mean you won't ever have a healthy, happy partnership in the future. This is a good time to write a list of the things you like about yourself and the things you are good at. See how you can go about improving those that you don’t about yourself. (Ask your best friend for help if you get stuck.) Sleep and healthy eating habits If you are going through a break-up or have recently gone through one, it is important for you to get enough sleep and eat well. While letting you feel rested and full, this will also leave you more stable and less emotional.