The chemistry of Love! “I'll never forget how I felt the first time I saw Nikhil,” recalls Karen. “Although he looked nothing like the kind of guy I thought I’d ever want to have anything to do with, there was no denying something chemical was going on...and believe me, it wasn’t one sided! Every cell in my body went on high alert...I was tongue- tied, my heart beat double time, my face flushed and the butterflies in my stomach went wild...before I even knew his name!” “I'll never forget the first time Kunal looked at me,” reminisces Anu. While for me it was as though my feet had gone off from below me and I was on Cloud No 9, Kunal later told me that he felt as if he’d been hit by a truck. It was so strange, you know, like he actually stole my heart. Though the feeling didn’t last as long as we felt it did, it is beyond compare!” As corny as it sounds, “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?” seems to suddenly hold some merit. Scientists are increasingly finding evidence that love at first sight really does exist and that it can be documented. While they argue about the specific ‘kind of love’, scientists and researchers believe that it holds true primarily for infatuation. The excitement and nervousness accompanying an instant crush is intense, too intense they argue to survive the time and patience a long lasting relationship demands. Many doctors have compared falling in love with the feeling you get after eating lots of chocolate. As your body releases a load of hormones combined with the neurotransmitter dopamine, you feel a rush, a natural high. Your pupils dilate, your heart pumps harder, you start to sweat, even the glands in your scalp release oil to create extra shine. These are all similar reactions that you are likely to feel when you ‘fall in love’. Whether it’s just an infatuation that you will outgrow or a relationship that you will cherish and nurture, the first feelings are almost identical. In fact, these reactions mirror the response your body would have if you were afraid or angry. Scientists call it “the fight or flight response” only here you don’t want to fight or flee! The good news is that the knowledge of neuroscience is doubling every two and a half years, meaning that scientists have learned more than all prior experiments about the working of the brain in such a situation in the last two and a half years. They are excited about the possibility of understanding exactly what it is that ignites the spark that melts our hearts. This comes as good news for all of us who would like to glean as much information as possible to be sure about the status of our relationships. The bad news is that the number of flip-flops your stomach does upon meeting someone has nothing to do with the kind of love that the fairy tales promise. What usually happens when we are infatuated, or fall in love, is interplay between various chemicals and the brain. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline; this is usually evident in the form of our pounding heart. Phenylethalimine, a chemical released by the brain and usually found in chocolate, creates a feeling of bliss. The often-irrational romantic sentiments we feel could be a result of oxytocin, a hormone that signals feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes block the brain activity that makes us think logically. All the studies in the world can't change the fact that the honeymoon state of love at first sight doesn't last. Soon, real life intrudes and annoying habits, human shortcomings and serious character flaws come into play. The clothes he wears, the way he laughs, his obnoxious friends, his obsessive calling every hour – all of these drive you up the wall and you suddenly find that you have overlooked all of this in the first spell of emotion. If in spite of all of these habits and shortcomings you still love him, then he is the One. Most often than not, as passion releases its grip, you see he is definitely not The One. Real love takes time and patience and a whole lot more than being swept off your feet. It involves knowing one another in a deeper, more profound way. Getting along with each others’ eccentricities and standing by him irrespective of your friends’ reactions, the fact that he may not be with the ‘in’ crowd and that you will not agree on everything That can’t happen in an instant. So, while you are waiting for that honest, intelligent, compassionate and kind prince to come along – if you get a chance to inhale some of those magical pheromones, enjoy!